ThefearofhellkeepsmeaChristian

[sorry if this sounds like I'm starting in the middle of something] After quite a bit of wrestling with the idea, I accepted the hell doctrine as a necessary part of orthodox Christianity. The most awful part of it is that eventually someone dies, and you must admit that the doctrine applies to that person as well, either to their benefit or not. Right now, I'll admit that I'm not feeling very sympathetic to the idea. The only ideas I agree with less are all the others. I feel that way about the Christian faith itself sometimes, that its the worst religion going except for all those other damned lousy religions. The one that seems most naturally amenible to my personality, is just plain hedonism. In fact, I practice this religion more than my Christian faith, which is why I believe the observance of accursed Lent to be very important. I know that hedonism is vacuous; the pursuit of pleasure does not lead to more pleasure. No one is more miserable than the trust fund baby who has all the resources that anyone could ever need to sate their desires. Pleasure just visits sometimes, and you can't do anything to make it stay or go or come back. The hell with pleasure, then! Let's pursue something else, uh, vocational success! love!! the praise of others!?! cool clothes? All this stuff is junk. Let's not pursue anything. Let's flee something. Hell. Hell, for me, is one concept that has never its concreteness. It's always been very real to me, even when I've not believed in it. And fleeing hell is the same thing a pursuing virtue. You may be doing any number of other things, thinking you're fleeing hell. If you're not pursuing virtue, you're still dangling by that spider's thread.