Saturday, May 16, 2009

ISFJ

I just took the Myers-Briggs personality typography on The Social Utility that Will Not be Named. The result was ISFJ: Nurturer. The two ads that came up immediately were "Love Your Wife? Get her name tattooed on your profile" and "Ant and Elephant Book, by swami Binkinanda and some Cambodian guy." I believe that TSUtWNbN now has me pegged as a pussy. I'm okay with this because, in the real world, loving your wife means exactly the opposite.

I'm not okay with the assessment of my personality. I didn't know anything about the previous result (INTJ) but I knew it made me special. Less than 5% of the population are of that type. Co-dependent nurturers abound, though. I don't want to be one of them. I'm stuck with this result, though, because I'm much too lazy to take the stupid thing again.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

TheTweakerWithin

When you need a blog post in a hurry you should remember the the best subject is funny made-up words!

knutervalve (or anything beginning with a consonant followed by a -nuter)
Wapcaplet (surname)
flimjam (my very own made up word)
Bingpickler (another surname)

Where have all the made-up words gone? Clearly my brain has dumped them into the recycle bin along with all your birth dates.

I make up words to conjure The Tweaker Within. The Tweaker Within is a manic persona I have. I've blogged about it before. People assume I'm a tweaker when they see my scraggly unkempt hair, unshaven face, rail-thin frame, veiny arms and ripped jeans. They are wrong to assume this! I am not a tweaker but I have a tweaker inside me and he's like a crazy person, but in a good way. I am not one of those folks who thinks being insane is cool. It is not cool; it's a living nightmare. Look at the crazy people on the street. The only comparison I can make is to a certain type of dream, the kind in which you know there's some kind of task required of you, but you can't do it. All you do is arrange tons of papers or look at endless colums on a spreadsheet or try to sell off the furniture in Frodo Baggins' estate before he heads out for Bree, being, it would seem, in charge while he's gone. Anyway, The Tweaker Within is not crazy. I take it back. He just wants to get a fun reaction out of people by saying things. And he needs to say things to himself (he likes the reaction he gets from himself, i.e. remaining The Tweaker Within.) He also needs to move about in fun ways. The Tweaker Within's primary goal is to make Virgie laugh and laugh and become silly. Our children are going to murder The Tweaker Within. He's coming. Gotta get home.

I think sometime soon there will eventually be a forthcoming blog post. The subject? Pn--m-t-c T-b-s. That's right, John, O first and awesomest and only disciple!