I've been studying for a test for the past two years and I passed it this morning. It's not an exaggeration; I really did start studying for the thing shortly after we moved here. Trying to condense my studying into a the 1.5 hours plus that I spent on the bus each day was not working. I took a new job closer to home, and started getting up at 4AM to study.
I expected to fail. I didn't complete even half of the suggested study hours (300) and I consistently struggled with base-level concepts, and the ensuing lack of motivation.
Anyway, the first of many hurdles is cleared. I didn't expect to have a very strong reaction, whether I passed or failed, and so far I haven't been overly pleased with myself. Like a Lake Wobegone Lutheran, I worry that self-congratulation and positive feelings in general are mere stormcrows. I want more defeat, and more frustration, and lots of them. Then maybe I can pass the next one.
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