doubts

I am uncertain that I have the requisite skills for actuarial work, particularly the quantitative skills. I've never been an especially good problem solver or arithmetician. This usets me because I majored in math in college (and nothing else) and showing no particular aptitude for my chosen field makes me feel worthless, worthless, worthless.

I however, am not worthless. God gave me worth and I can no more change its quantity than I can drink the ocean dry. I still want to be able to look back at my life and say I did something difficult, and not something I'm supposed to do, per Chris Rock's advice. That rules out "Saw marriage through to the death of one partner" and "scarred children minimally." I want a vocation that rightly affords me a certain amount of respect, but not money. Money makes you want money. Money is poison. Money makes it hard to get into heaven. There's no point to all this studying if it's for money. Ugh, my brain power is spent on this actuary exam I'm probably going to fail. Mope, mope, mope. Soap, floap, dope, Pope? grope. nope.