derelictionofduties

I am here to write some nonsense.

I am non some here to sensewrite.

Agamemnon's here: a fencewright!

Here I am babayay! (signed, sealed, dismembered) Azores!

Doodah parader. (think Smooth Operator [y'know, I'm more like one than the other(can you guess which? [I bet Virgie can (more than one answer accepted)])])

One time my pastor's wife was teaching and having authority over me at church, and man, did she hate Healing Circles. I'll tell you what she hates: healing circles, man. Healing circles (are bad according to my former pastor's wife.) Sometimes in the middle of the music she would yell out "healing circles! They have healing circles!" She meant the people under demonic influence. Healing circles came from this one shop on high bridge road, on the way to the Brills house, on the right if going North. I never went there. I bet you it's closed now--not many window shoppers on High Bridge Road, huh, Demon People?

Demon people, demon people
pokin’, whackin’, screamin’ people
people with perpetually, fully taped-up noses. People
blasting fire hoses in the noses of the evil people.
Steeples cannot save you from the circles of the weevil people
weeple, weeple, weeple, weeple, weeple, weeple, weeple people

slightlyinappropriatepost

Virge and I watch one TV show almost every night: Jeopardy! I don't want to exclaim it; the exclamation point is part of the title of the show. Anyway, they always have this car commercial that says "the following stimulus package is now in effect." When that commercial comes on, I make a face or some kind of noise in order to indicate to Virge that I want to tell the same stupid joke. The one about the extraorinary pornographic potential of the term "stimulus package."

moronhell

"I don't care if I go to hell, just as long as they'll have good tunes playing."

[upon walking past a barbecue restaurant] "Hell won't be so bad--think of all that slow-roasted meat!"

"I know I'm going to hell, but I won't mind as long as on Monday evenings I can kick back with a cold Fat Tire and watch the game."

These are the kinds of stupid things people say about the Christian doctrine of hell. The third one I made up as a joke, and the second one is obviously a joke as well, but it indicates the flippancy with which unbelievers talk about the subject. Let's be clear: hell is the reason that we can never truly say "It can't get any worse." It can. Hell hath more fury than a woman scorned. We've never been anywhere that is hotter than hell. I'm not sure I mean either of these things literally; I simply want to gain back some of the gravity with which we Christians used to treat the subject. Obviously I don't want to get back all the gravity. We used to burn people over this kind of thing. More specifically, if someone was leading people astray, and risking their damnation, then, it was believed, they needed to be made into an example, a warning for others that eternity is not to be trifled with.

I don't know what to make of the doctrine, really. I'm still deeply disturbed by the fact/idea/fact/idea that God may torture people forever, or let them be tortured forever, to his own glory. I just want to say that there are those who believe this. There are those who believe this. Do not make light of the idea unless you do not believe this.

Perhaps there's no reason to say it.