Christianity--The Candy Bar!

This was originally posted on a blog nobody visited called Brandon's Correct Thoughts about Religion, on August 22, 2008.

Here's my idea for a Christian t-shirt:

It's not a religion;

It's a candy bar.

(Image of a candy bar with CHRISTIANITY written on it)

(I have to hit up some designers I know to create the Image of Christianity the Candy Bar)

I wonder about the feasability of a cross-shaped candy bar. It seems that it would break easily, but it would have more ends (4) than a regular candy bar (2). Everybody knows that the best parts of the candy bar are the ends. The very best part is the last bite, which has been warmed slightly by your hand. Provided you haven't delayed in finishing your bar, this warming gives the chocolate the perfect creamy texture and softness that you long for. It's why you bought the bar! Well, along with the rest of the bar it's why you bought the bar.

I don't know why I wrote that bit about the last bite. It doesn't help my case. Anyway, my proposed bar would have three starting points and one main setback. You may have noticed that there would be one bite in the middle with less chocolate than any other candy bar bite. It only has chocolate on the top and bottom, not the sides. We'll forgive it. Or perhaps we'll just abandon the idea and make it a regular bar. But bigger and better and cheaper than all the others! Our God is happy when we enjoy his gifts. And the greatest of these, that doesn't have to do with the incarnation or the arts or interpersonal relationships or the hygiene of society, is chocolate.

If any potential recipes for this bar come to mind, please send them to me. Theological explanations required.