Another Old Entry from a Different Defunct Blog

A word of explanation--this is the only published post from my autobiographical blog, Me! Its URL was brandonvernpickering.blogspot.com. I have decided to condense my blogs and make sure that only people I know can read my posts. Here's what I kept from that one. It was originally published 4/22/08.


The multiple blogs are all part of a program to compartmentalize the various components of my personality, and explore them separately. This will be a sort of "anchor blog," in which will comment on and explain the others. In this way I plan moderate myself.

I love factoids, so here are a few:

1) Strathroy is a city in Southern Ontario, where me and Virgie stopped to get awful Chinese food and ice cream on our way from Hamilton MI to Niagara Falls. We were on our honeymoon.

2) It seemed like there was another factoid which would explain some strange element of one of my other blogs.

3) The largest bony fish is the Ocean Sunfish. I used to cath tiny freshwater sunfish in the Snoqualmie River and various oxbow lakes which that river created. My brother-in-law Bob Siko and my friend Devin Guthrie taught me to fish. I am not a good fisherman.

A few words about my own Dr. Jeckyll, Dr. Bingpickler. I used to become Dr. Bingpickler without fail on Friday afternoons, especially if I could find a decent straight man like pentalingual Greg Svanidze. His full name is Ramdon Bingpickler V. That's not a Roman numeral for 5; it's his last initial. I changed his name from B. Vernon Pnuterington sometime in my second or third year at Whitworth College, which also has a habit of changing its name. I changed the name to make Paul Stephens laugh, but he seemed to think the first name funnier than the second. At least, he always called me Pnuterington and rarely Dr. Bingpickler.

This persona has not always been received well. Virgie likes him well enough, and that's what matters now. He makes her laugh. Now that I've brought up my wife I have reason to explain the other blog. Virgie is a very intelligent seminary student. She defends her own opinions competently, much better than I defend my own. For this reason I wind up adopting her opinions on matters that I don't care about or haven't thought through. My opinions are very malleable, so after she has explained position on some issue, and a few months have elapsed, the position becomes my own. This is not often problematic, but it erodes my faith in my abilities to come to my own conclusions. That's what the Correct Thoughts About Religion blog is for, to give a forum in which to come to my own conclusions, using only my brain and stuff I read on Wikipedia. It may be a truly pathetic blog. Let's see. I have come to a conclusion about pornography and intend to post something about it today. First I will talk to Joshua.

Christianity--The Candy Bar!

This was originally posted on a blog nobody visited called Brandon's Correct Thoughts about Religion, on August 22, 2008.

Here's my idea for a Christian t-shirt:

It's not a religion;

It's a candy bar.

(Image of a candy bar with CHRISTIANITY written on it)

(I have to hit up some designers I know to create the Image of Christianity the Candy Bar)

I wonder about the feasability of a cross-shaped candy bar. It seems that it would break easily, but it would have more ends (4) than a regular candy bar (2). Everybody knows that the best parts of the candy bar are the ends. The very best part is the last bite, which has been warmed slightly by your hand. Provided you haven't delayed in finishing your bar, this warming gives the chocolate the perfect creamy texture and softness that you long for. It's why you bought the bar! Well, along with the rest of the bar it's why you bought the bar.

I don't know why I wrote that bit about the last bite. It doesn't help my case. Anyway, my proposed bar would have three starting points and one main setback. You may have noticed that there would be one bite in the middle with less chocolate than any other candy bar bite. It only has chocolate on the top and bottom, not the sides. We'll forgive it. Or perhaps we'll just abandon the idea and make it a regular bar. But bigger and better and cheaper than all the others! Our God is happy when we enjoy his gifts. And the greatest of these, that doesn't have to do with the incarnation or the arts or interpersonal relationships or the hygiene of society, is chocolate.

If any potential recipes for this bar come to mind, please send them to me. Theological explanations required.