My Personal Faith Journey

You want Religion, Strathroy? I'll give you a religion.

Pneumatic->
<-<-<-<-<
>->->->->
<-<-<-<-<
>->->->->
<-<-<-<-<
>->->->->
<-<-<-<-<
>->->->->
<-<-<-<-<
>->->->->
<-<-<-<-<
>->->->-> tUBES

That's right, sucker. Pneumatic tubes have been dreamt about in all times, all cultures and all socioepileptic backgrounds. How did the Emperor Q'in plan to get into heaven, you may ask. I know how. How do Namibian bushmen plan to have the Holy Spirit delivered to them? William Murdoch knows. The Guanche people did *not* expect that God would speak to them through a Public Address system. They knew better. They knew his messages would come in pill shaped containers, shot out of giant Celestial Pneumatic Tubes.

Are you persisting in unbelief? Repent! Go to the bank drive-thru again. No, not your crappy home bank. That one over by Fatburger on Redmond Way. Just West of that strip mall with the Fatburger and Blockbuster and Great Clips. East of McDonald's and Dairy Queen. Across the street from Taco Time. The Bank with pneumatic Tubes.

Pneumatic Tubes solve all of the following Theological Problems

1) Pain (did you honestly think that they only transport pill-shaped bank transaction holders? No, they suck out your suffering and transport it to the suffering-deprived in the rich neighborhoods)

2)How it is that God can send people to Hell who didn't have any choice but to do their evil heart's bidding. I know how.

3) All other problems















Now I'm down here. And you all know how! Altogether now...




Pneumatic Tubes!!